AP Anonymous

Ladies and Gentlemen, members of the Associated Press, people of Earth, I am an addict.  I stand before you today a broken man, unable to resist the need for my next fix and consumed by thoughts of time, no, life wasted.  I am a man fearful of the diminishing prospects for my own life and for the prospects of the world.

Just last evening, a young man walked into a grocery store in the sleepy but restless town of Richmond, Virginia and selected a frozen pizza, a bag of potato chips (Lay’s) and a bottle of cheap white wine (because let’s face it, not only is he hungry he’s also classy) to purchase.  While lamenting the wait in the self-checkout line and the disembodied female computer voice at the register, (Welcome, valued customer!) he was quietly, but forcefully and incessantly bombarded with spam news.  No, not news about Spam, the canned mystery meat that enjoys immense popularity in Hawaii, but greasy, vacuous, self-indulgent publications spouting the relationship woes and victories of Hollywood’s elite.  However, he leaves this industrial wasteland of retail production with new knowledge.  Taylor Swift is in love with some guy from the Twilight movies.

24-hour news – nothing new.

The idea of around the clock news coverage has been around since I was a kid. I remember my favorite shows being interrupted by “This Just In” or “We’ve Just Learned…” and then for what would feel like hours I’d learn about one tragedy or another that happened which at the time would freak me out or scare the crap out of me. More than anything, I was just really pissed off because nothing could have been more important that what was happening in Hazzard with Bo and Luke Duke.

Lou Dobbs to Fox News

I thought I had the jump on this and was going to go out and make a prediction that after Lou Dobbs left/got fired from CNN he would be over at Fox News within days.

But alas, there was an alleged meeting between Dobbs and Roger Ailes in October, so I am not offering any scoop.

What I AM offering is a lead-in into our topic of next week, the 24-hour news channels. And also offering just a prediction based on Dobbs’ ramblings and tone and where he would fit best.

So I still stake my prediction, Dobbs to Fox News within days, even though someone beat me to that thought. And at the same time, I offer a plug for our upcoming essays.

See you Monday at 12 noon for our next posts.