Refund Policy

There are absolutely no refunds what so ever help you God.  In fact, if you are not satisfied with the contents of these essays, please send 19.95¹ to the address of your choosing, c/o Complaint Department.  You should receive a response within 4-6 weeks.

¹Note: currency is of your choosing.

Complains pertaining to essay length and or structure are highly encouraged.  In fact, so much encouraged, that you are encouraged to print out these essays, f#^&@ the trees much like we say f#$^@&* the dolphins in a previous essay, and take said printout–not to the john please– take said printout on your break and peruse.   I know someone named Peruz.  Or is it Perus.  Either way, she’s a delightful lady.  Wonderful voice.  Wonderful keyboarding skills (music keyboard, not this silly computer contraption).

After perusing these essays you are then encouraged to ponder how much or how much more or how much less could be or could have been said by less or more.  In fact, trying to contort this much thought into a finite amount of characters on the screen seems utterly preposterous.

What is the difference between udderly and utterly?

If you are from the south, of America, United States, would you pronounce it “udderly” when in fact you meant “utterly”.  There’s a bit of that strangeness when you hear someone speaking English and pronouncing the ‘t’s just quite right as opposed to the American pronunciation where we drag the ‘d’ into the realm of the ‘t’.

Par example, parfait, par none, bar none: [example to come. at the moment escapes me.]

“Little”

How often do we pronounce it “liddle”?

“Sitting”.  Sidding.

And the length.

We reject the notion that because these are written and published online that we have to reconstruct the deconstruction to make it fit into the paragraph denoted attention span of the worker throughout the day in order to compete with the notification window pop ups, the politely pleasant yet mediocre tone of the telephone (the desk phone not the cell phone), the piles of paperwork, the receipts, the bills, the task list, the stubs, the calculations, the to-do lists, the pages, and all the other competing items that consume your day yet you personally do not consume which still then leaves you hungry for something more than just busy work busy bees honey is not enough to live on and in hopes that there is more to the day than just the usual push and pull of paper we offer these papers to push and pull your brain and some and then some.

Sure?  Why not.