Chew 21 times?

Dear Dr. K,

I was told I had to chew my food 21 times before swallowing.  Does that mean for each bite?  Or can I just combine them all bites for the whole meal?

Signed,

Chomping away.

Dear Chomping Away,

Yes, that is for each bite and this goes along with the whole, eat like a bird, drink like a fish and poop like an elephant mantra that health nuts and tree huggers have been throwing around for decades. Hey, compared to those of us who swallow our food whole, you’ll probably live a lot longer, but you’ll be happy to know those extra years you got will be spent chewing, chewing, chewing your life away. I’ve got better things to do with my life than sitting at an empty table chewing my food until I can regurgitate it into a cup and sip it through a straw.

Save your time and get a food processor.

Dr. K.