Beer lunch = nap time

Dear Dr. K,

One beer at lunch puts me to sleep at my desk by 3 o’clock.  Two beers puts me to sleep by 5pm, but then its already time to go home.  What should I do?

Signed,

Drooling at my Desk.

Dear Drooling At My Desk,

This is a common question among amateur drinkers like yourself and the solution is quite easy. It’s about ratios, blood sugar and blood pressure. Every beer you have at lunch must be matched with at least one lap dance. I recommend two lap dances for every cocktail. The lap dance will increase blood flow and raise your blood pressure which will help break down the alcohol quicker to avoid your blood sugar levels elevating. Furthermore, by following this advice, you are 99% more likely not to go back to the office which will help you eliminate any chance of falling asleep at your desk.

Dr. K.