Mr. Devins’ Concession Speech

The following is a transcription of a Concession Speech for the position of Treasurer of Long Beach, CA as delivered by Mr. Devins (a.k.a. Dr. Dolluzz)

Hey. Yo. Yo.

Listen up, y’all.

Yo, I went into this campaign thinking I could make a change.

I was thinking we needed something different.

A change of perspective that’s retrospective, introspective and outrospective.

Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about.

But it didn’t workout like I planned.

Like we hoped.

Looks like some other punks had some different ideas. Thought this backward, country-bumpkin, wheat-chewing, funky-breath loser could do the job better than me.

But hear this.

Listen up, y’all. Listen up.

I didn’t want this jacked up position no way, no how.

I stand before you tonight, raising a 40, tipping it to the homies, and saying they can stick this treasurer position. They can stick it up there and let this punk run this place and their money into the ground.

Now the last few months I’ve gone over and over why I’m more qualified than this punk. I’ve said why I’m more fiscally responsible. Damn, y’all, I got your needs in check. I know what you want and what you need and I was willing to give it to you.

Now, I’ll give them a month or two before they come running back to me like some stupid Ho who didn’t know “how good they really had it.”

Punk ass bitches.

Dr. Dolluzz is out.