The Official Thanksgiving “Not-To-Do List”

I’m sure most of you have embedded in your thanksgiving rituals a healthy dose of food, family and football. Well, maybe it’s stress, maybe it’s that I might be actually maturing. Maybe it’s because every year I do the same thing and nothing gets resolved, nothing gets better. And worse — nothing changes.

So while I do look forward to this Thanksgiving’s ritual of eating too much, saying too much and watching too much football, there’s another, new tradition I am starting this year and it’s my New, Official, Thanksgiving “Not-To-Do List.

See, my life is a series of lists.

Lists of

• things to get done around the house
• habits that can help me grow personally and emotionally
• what I’d like to accomplish as a writer and artist
• ways I can be a better father
• things I can do to be a better husband
• practices to be a better communicator – personally and in society
• what it means to be spiritual and benefits of belief
• reasons why it’s better to drink tea than alcohol
• reasons why I like drinking alcohol more than tea
• lists of lists of lists

My wife and I went to see a comedian recently who was talking about “to-do lists” and how funny it was that when we write these lists, we title the list “things to do” as if we wouldn’t know it is a to-do list.

1. do laundry
2. clean the kitchen
3. pick up milk
4. get the kids’ medicine
   hmmm…what are all these things and why are they written on this piece of paper?

Not only do we have to write lists to remind us of what we need to do, we have to title the list so we know what the list if for.

My lists are always full of things I need to do to improve…or just things I need to do. By the way, Brian Regan is the comedian and he’s damn funny. Definitely put him on your “to-do” list…sorry, I couldn’t resist.

When my wife and I find 10 minutes to talk, we discuss things that sometimes lead me to making a list. It could be a list of things I forgot to do, didn’t get to or new things that need to be done for the week, or the night, for the morning. You name it, it’s always a list I make.

And then last night we talked for a while and I think for the first time in about 10 years I actually listened to what she had to say.

As she put it — “the more we weigh ourselves down with what has to get done rather than lift ourselves up by being thankful for what we already have, these lists are going to prove to be nothing but an excuse for getting nothing done.”

And here’s the big take-away…”When you give yourself too much to-do, very little actually gets done because you are so weighed down by all that is on your to-do list.”

So in writing this week’s entry about Thanksgiving, food, football and family, I thought I’d change my list-making habits to something that is much more healthy. Now I am making a running list of things I am thankful for. Yes, it’s the world’s biggest cliché ever, but it is meaningful and important if one does it and does it with conviction and heart.

I feel freedom. I feel more alive. My wife has freed me from those lists that have shrouded my computer screen for so many years. Things to do, things to accomplish, things I have to do or else I’m never going to be happy and might as well be nothing. I am done with lists like that and am compiling a list of things to be thankful for this holiday season and I am keeping this one close to my heart.

So, I’d love to hear from some of you:

1. What is the most important part of your Thanksgiving?
2. How many of you have a list of things you have to get done before you can celebrate Thanksgiving?
3. How much of your life is consumed by lists?
4. If you had to write a list of 5 things you can be thankful for, what are the top two?

Life feels so much more simple. My list for Thanksgiving now has only four things on it:

1. Enjoy some good food
2. Argue until I’m blue in the face about politics
3. Watch some football
4. Repeat

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!